My Bad Relationship
by teh 4th freakee fairet
Summary: They thought that once they were together, all the pieces would just fall into place, but it was the exact cause for everything to fall apart. Perry's anger is out of hand and JD can't bear to leave him, even for his own safety. JDCox, dark slash
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, I am tentatively stepping back in the world of fanfiction after a looong hiatus. Here's some darker work but don't worry- I usually can conjure up happy endings. Usually.**

**Summary**: They thought that once they were together, all the pieces would just fall into place. They never thought that it would cause everything to fall apart. [JDCox, dark slash]

**Rating**: It's very dark, but not rated M.

**Pairings**: JDCox. Dark, may not end that way. JD may die.

Regular text.

"Speaking."

_Thinking._

(Author's notes within story.)

* * *

My Bad Relationship

_Chapter One: Precedent of a Point of Breaking _

Perry was confused- in an angry way.

He could remember how the relationship began, how shaky his heart felt every time he saw him and how cold he had to make his eyes to hide it. How much of a rush it was to drag him to the roof and crush him against the walling around the stair well, to see his eyes dark and glazed in lust and his lips reddened from a desperate kiss.

But it was different now. He spent nights on end at Perry's apartment, now that Jordan had vacated permanently. Perry would roll over and see his face, peaceful in sleep, and compare it to the fear that flashed on his gray eyes while in the waking world. Sometimes, when Perry slept, he dreamed of how he used to be, before fear had taken over his lover's life.

JD was scared. Not for his life, but for what he might lose.

He'd moved his stuff from the apartment he and Turk once shared and taken up in the empty bedroom in _his _apartment. But that was after JD had first been grabbed by the wrists and pulled away, after JD had first tasted _his _lips in the winter sunlight on the roof, after he hesitantly asked JD to come over, which had resulted in one of the greatest nights JD could remember.

But it was different now. JD would lay awake for hours, wondering about his choices, going in endless circles about questions he didn't have answers to. JD would examine the bruises on his arms or the cut on his cheek he'd gotten from the countertop and say to himself, I could leave and never come back and _he _wouldn't, _couldn_'t, do a thing about it.

Then he'd close his eyes and force tears back down as he remembered how tenderly the hands had first held and stroked him. He'd hear the sweet murmurings in his ear or the glint of pure happiness in his eyes- something JD had never seen before.

And JD would talk himself out of it, out of leaving forever and getting his life back. He'd tell himself that his lover was a good person at heart, and that he was just frustrated when ever his eyes blazed in anger and JD had to curl up in a tight ball to protect himself. He told himself that if he stuck it out a little longer, the man he loved would come to his senses and they'd be happy again.

JD wasn't finding himself very believable anymore.

Perry remembered the first time he'd lashed out physically in anger. After that, all his 'episodes' blended together in one messy, dark blur of anger, then regret. He could see the raw pain in his eyes as he'd stumbled against the wall, how he couldn't find anger or hate in those blue-gray depths he'd come to love. How there was only the hurt and despair.

His lover didn't flinch every time Perry moved after the first 'episode', but when Perry had strayed to the scotch on the counter, he'd become tense and watched Perry's every move warily. When he had finally risen from the couch, his partner held his breath and waited for Perry's next move.

It had surprised him to see Perry's arms wrapping around him, to feel his warm lips against his own and taste the burning scotch in his mouth, to hear the soft whispers of regret and love against his neck. He'd been filled with hope as Perry seemed to be completely in regret. Perry had been, at the time, horrified and disgusted with himself to have possibly hurt someone as kind and gentle as him. Perry had pleaded for forgiveness and, knowing undoubtedly that it would come, kissed him sweetly without hesitation

After the first episode, JD had left the apartment, avoiding him as much as possible, until finally, Perry had approached him with an apology and an invitation to his apartment. JD had once known what that meant, where he'd end up if he followed Perry home. But now, he wondered. If he went into a place where he had the disadvantage of area familiarity, would Perry hurt him? Again?

But JD saw the desperate apology in his eyes and felt his heart go out to him. He told himself that it was a one-time thing, that Perry would never do it again. JD believed it and when Perry stepped cautiously around him, he knew that his words had been sincere. JD let himself trust again.

It had hurt that much more when Perry snapped once more, weeks later.

And that was how it started, how Perry would promise, JD would hesitate but in the end go back to his apartment and when things got a little stressful or a little rough and JD said the wrong thing, Perry would lash out. But Perry would come back seeking forgiveness. Which he always got.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh geez, here we go. Well, I hope the masses finds this entertaining! Writing is hard work, it is ;3**

**Summary**: They thought that once they were together, all the pieces would just fall into place. They never thought that it would cause everything to fall apart. [JDCox, dark slash]

**Rating**: It's very dark, but not rated M.

**Pairings**: JDCox.

Regular text.

"Speaking."

_Thinking_.

(Author's notes within story.)

* * *

_Chapter Two_

JD woke shaking, again. _Where am I? Did I pass out? Was it all a dream? _JD laid, staring blindly at the ceiling in the pitch black bedroom. _Oh yeah. I'm at Dr. Cox's. _Despite himself, JD's eyes became softer, sadder, and he breathed out heavily. Then, as his awareness came back gradually from the realms of dreams, he noticed the warm, sleeping figure beside him.

Perry.

Suppressing a little chill that traveled up his spine and neck, JD was drawn to the heat, turning on his side. The movement stirred his partner though, and Perry half-opened his eyes. In that moment, JD felt his breath get sucked out of his body, making his heart flutter and his blood ring through his veins.

His eyes as they were now, glazed from dreams, glowing with a tender love that JD knew Perry only felt for him, JD felt any depressing or doubtful feeling sputter out and die. Here was where JD belonged. He was sure of it. Where else could he find someone who was barely awake with another person of the same gender in the bed and, without even that forgetfulness that immediately followed a deep sleep wearing off, have nothing but adoring passion in his eyes? The sting of JD's wounds faded, along with the rest of the world, as Perry leaned forward and placed a gentle, warm kiss on his lips.

Then, without a single word, Perry looked over JD's shoulder at the alarm clock and climbed out of bed. JD felt a cold draft surge under the blanket as Perry lifted it to untangle his ankles from its clutches.

JD felt reality return with the cold air. They still had to go to work. They were still in a severely messed up relationship. He still had cuts and bruises lacing his skin, under his clothes. But as this thought pushed rudely into JD's head he sat up, shaking himself. With a resolute sigh, JD looked at the soft sky that preceded dawn through the window, thinking grim thoughts on things that used to be not so grim.

After JD had left to change in the second bathroom and the couple had gotten to work in their Porsche, JD let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. In the beginning, he'd worried over whether or not it'd be tense or awkward around Perry at work but once they'd arrived at Sacred Heart, their personal life together melted away till Perry became an expert at acting like nothing was going on and JD knew exactly when to say the right words around his friends.

Soon, the monster that fed on personal lives became JD's safe place. Just as he knew they would- could, never do anything there, he knew that he didn't need to flinch when Perry turned sharply towards him or went off on a rant.

Of course, his relationship was not a secret to his friends. In the very beginning, he'd decided that if they didn't approve, it wasn't a relationship he should be in. Carla, the perceptive woman she was, could see the passion between them despite how they tried to hide it and was supportive all the way. Elliot was in danger of getting strangled if she said, "Aww! They're so _cute _together!" one more time, so her support was unquestioned. Turk had been wary, but only because he knew that Perry was a harsh person that could very well break his best friend's heart. He wanted JD to be happy, so he was hesitant. He didn't want to risk JD getting hurt.

The gash on JD's cheek had been awkwardly explained off, along with that bruise he'd gotten a few weeks ago. Perry was always hovering nearby when JD got questioned about mysterious wounds to the point where JD's friends had to corner him and demand they go for a drink, just the four of them.

JD had blinked in terror. They weren't even going to let him tell Perry where he was? And just as he thought this, they hooked their hands under his elbow and pulled him along, JD only able to cast unsure looks over his shoulder.

Once they'd arrived and ordered their drinks, all eyes had turned onto JD, who gulped nervously. He knew that if he even let them know anything that might possibly suggest Perry had hurt him in the slightest way, Perry would be murdered by Turk, then Carla, then Elliot, each of which were terrifying when they were angry. At least, in their own way.

JD tried to pin it on his clumsiness. They didn't buy it. He tried to tell the story he'd made up. The countertop cut his cheek because he tripped. Certainly not because he had been pushed. And the bruise on his wrist? He probably just got it when he fell. Nobody had grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to his feet in fury. No way.

Then, miraculously, Perry appeared, casting cold glares at Carla, Turk and Elliot. Only Carla held his stare just as true and icy till Perry had to look away. JD gave him a relieved look, shoulders releasing the tension he'd held there the entire time. Just for a shock, Perry stepped up to JD and pulled him in for a long, tender kiss that made his friends glance away guiltily. How could they question Perry's love when he was doing something like that in public?

JD was torn between being relieved to see Perry and severely disappointed at the same time. A tiny part of him wanted _out_. He didn't want to stay strong for Perry anymore. He didn't want to have to take the blows and not fight back simply for the sake of his dream relationship. The whole time with his friends, that tiny part of him had screamed out loud. If he just told them what happened, it'd all be over. They'd swoop in and rescue him.

But that was only a tiny part of him. The rest of JD wanted Perry's arms to hold him forever.

No matter what Perry did.


End file.
